So true...

Further proof that grammar is dead....

Remind me never to enroll my son in the South Bend, Ind.,

school system.

English is dead, and I don't feel so good myself...

Today, my friend Libby shared a link on Facebook to an obituary that appeared in Sunday's The Washington Post. This was no ordinary obit. It was a cleverly crafted ode by Gene Weingarten lamenting the loss of the English language. You can read it here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/09/13/AR2010091304476.html

I've read it three times. The first time through I was amused by it, mainly because it is so cleverly crafted. As an aficionado of the English language, I truly love reading perfectly proficient prose. Which brings me to the thoughts that came to me during my second reading:

What the hell happened to our ability to write that well? When did writing become the bane of our existence? What happened in our society to cause high school graduates to choose their college major based upon how little they will have to write? Why is the only time students actively protest the actions of college administrators and teachers is when we require them to take a course designated as "writing enhanced" to graduate? And that begs another question: When did college curricula become so weak that it became necessary to add courses to them called "writing enhanced?" And what really burns me: Students who tell me they are majoring in a particular communication sequence just so they don't have to take a designated writing course.

My third reading came after I shared the column with several of my students, and it became abundantly clear to me none of them got the joke. As I reread the column, I realized that practically no product of America's education system during the past 20 years or so will get the column, because their reading comprehension doesn't extend to that level. What does this portend (a word I used in a Facebook postnthis week that actually confused some people!) for our society? How long until this country literally becomes functionally illiterate? And are we there already? And, the scariest question of all: Can we fix it?

Logo fail

My friend, former student and fellow grammar aficionado Evan Barker stumbled across this sign posted in his small town in Kentucky, which is preparing to welcome the World Equestrian Games. At least, I think that's what they meant:

Why Qwest internet sucks

Here's the end of my just-completed online chat with a Qwest Communications representative regarding getting high-speed internet in my new house. It seems my next-door neighbor can get it, but I can't. And they have no desire to see that I ever pay them money for their service. Take a look at the abject stupidity that is Qwest Communications:

Steven Chappell: I can't understand why the person in the other half of my duplex can get service and I can't. There's no explanation you can offer that makes sense regarding that.

Curtis E. (20692): Because all the available internet lines are take at this time. I do apologize.

Steven Chappell: How can you have a cap on available internet lines? It just seems in this day and age that should not be a problem.

Curtis E. (20692): Once again I do apologize for that.

Steven Chappell: So, essentially, I have to wait for someone to cancel their service or die before I can get service?

Curtis E. (20692): Yes, when a line will come available.

Steven Chappell: But you can't add me to a waiting list?

Curtis E. (20692): I do apologize but I do not have a waiting list to add you to Steven.

Steven Chappell: So how do I know when service is available to me?

Curtis E. (20692): You just have to keep calling us and asking if your address is now available for internet service.

Steven Chappell: Why can't you set up a database to add me to a waiting list? How damn difficult is that for you morons to do?

Curtis E. (20692): I do apologize but I do not have a waiting list to add you to Steven.

I give up.